Growing up, I struggled with connecting with my peers, and being understood. I felt disconnected from a lot of things in my childhood but in my culture, children were meant to be seen not heard. That was the start of losing myself. There was no place for self expression. Permission had to be granted to speak and you were punished for a “wrong” repsonse, based on what the adult decided. Any effort to be expressive, was considered to be disobedient and wayward, and was awarded physical and emotional punishment.
I still insisted on expressing myself through actions that I felt best described me and would make me heard. Unfortunately, an earlier assault on my body during my childhood by a trusted relative, left me bruised and disconnected from my body at a subconscious level. I became pregnant, a situation which threw our family into turmoil. Teen pregnancy was frowned upon, and most pregnant teens or teen moms ended up dropping out of school. Despite the hateful and hurtful words that were thrown at our family my parents sent me back to complete High School after having my daughter.
I completed high school and proceeded to college. I got pregnant with my second child soon after college and a break up with my son’s father threw me into a deep dark depression. I felt betrayed, abandoned and alone. I felt guilty towards my body knowing I had allowed it to let me down again. I cried myself to sleep and went days without food yet I was breastfeeding! I soon decided that ending my life would be the best option. A mistake by my maid ensured that the pills I had prepared to end my life with were thrown out before I could take them.
I then knew that my life was spared for a reason. Self development was not ubiquitous back then, but I made a firm and conscious decision to never let any circumstance block me from achieving my goals and dreams. I knew deep inside that there was a higher calling on my life which is why God spared me. I started paying attention to my world, looking for my miracle as I immersed myself in my education and excelled.
The first came the day after my father’s funeral. I manifested a prestigious full scholarship to pursue graduate studies at one of the most prestigious universities in Western Canada. My daughter who was a teen by then, took care of mom for five straight years. I was married then and couldn’t be there for mom the way I would have wanted to but my daughter was. If I had had her years later, she would have been so young and taking care of mom would have been difficult with our lifestyle. It was then I witnessed a true miracle! M daughter was born then for a purpose. Much as God had a purpose for me, he had a magnificent purpose for her! While momma grieved, my daughter rocked her to sleep every night and spoiled her during the day. What a blessing!
Going from teen mom to PhD was probably unexpected of me. Remember I was dubbed as wayward! But my life was written in the stars, I just needed to find and connect the stars. Situations happen FOR us not TO us. No matter what you’re going through, remember darkness always gives way to the sun, and the sun gives way to the darkness. There will always be great sunny times and dark and cold nights in our lives. Its not about running away from the darkness, but allowing yourself to embrace the darkness, live through it and welcome the sunshine. And remember, the sun always signals a new day, so you cannot hold on to the past. Darkness signals the closure of a day, so you take stock and brace for the next day.
My past experiences heavily influence my work, which is rooted in a 360 degree transformation of the person. I could not have fixed one thing and had an amazing life. I had to make changes and shed unnecessary baggage in all areas including health, finances, relationships (family and friends), work and career, spirituality, beliefs and mindset, leisure, personal development, etc. With the support and guidance of various coaches and healers along the way, I developed a deeper appreciation of my past , and with clarity and focus, I took time to heal at an inner level and obliterated the blocks that were obstructing the view of who I really was and preventing me from honoring that.
I thus invite you to initiate change in your life, by being dedicated and open to clearing the old ways, conjuring new ways, cultivating aligned intentions and crafting your life so you can accelerate our progress towards your divine destiny. This step requires you to link arms with me, so I can support you on this self discovery and self reformation journey. So many have given away their power, voice and authenticity and I support you with re claiming what is yours from wherever you’ve given it away.